All I've Got
by Sawyerslover
Summary: A depressed Sam has a container of pills and a water bottle..This is not going to end well for the young Winchester. HurtSam
1. Chapter 1

Hello readers :D While working on my other spn stories i wanted to give you guys a little hurtSam story. I hope you like it :D Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Sam Pov

All I've got are pills. I hold the pill bottle in one hand and water in the other. I know i have to take every pill or this wont work. Some senior girl in my school tried to kill herself with aspirin and allergy medication, but she didn't take enough of either and ended up with a pumped stomach and a bunch of finger-pointing and whispering. I have to do it right.

Five pills down.

I look up into the shadows of the dark room. I am glad the lights aren't on.

Five more down.

Deep breathes. Then another five. I inspect my water bottle. I don't have much left. Why didn't grab two bottles? Stupid. I sallow more pills with less water and one gets stuck in my throat. I gag a few times and then its down. I look down inside the pill container to count how many groups of five I have to take.

I dump what's left onto my palm. I've got 12 more to go. Three more swallows. I lift the water bottle up to my face. I think I can do it. The first group goes down easy. Five more. My stomach twist. Is it happening already? It can't be; they're capsules. I swallow the last two and marvel that I still have a sip of water left. I finish it and lie back down on the bed.

Drowsily, i reach over and attempt to grab my phone. It first moves farther away from me on the side table, but reaching more I am able to grasp it in my hand. Pressing the phone symbol I select the second name on the call log. Bobby.

"Bobby Singer." After a few rings.

"Bobby..Iss Sam. I need..tell Dean.."

"Sam, what?" Bobby questions, and then laughs. "Sam did Dean buy you beer?"

"Nooo..Listen..Dean..Tell him..he always took care of me..This is good..Better.."

"Sam. What the hell in wrong?" Bobby asks, urgency in his voice.

"That is it..Wait..No. Tell..him I love him..Better..This is better."

"Sam! God dammit! What's going on? Dean is on his way. He wanted to surprise you for-"

The phone slides out of my hand snapping closed when it hits the floor.

I don't feel good.

I feel like I am going to throw up. I can't do that or everything will be ruined. I called Bobby. At least Dean will know.. I can't throw up. _Don't puke. _I say in my head. I don't.

I close my eyes. I am relaxed. I want this. I imagine the floor suddenly shooting light from underneath me, microscopic particles of happiness releasing and penetrating my skin. Through my clothes, I feel it. I swear I can. A warm sensation tingles up my leg. Are the lights on now? My eyes droop. It's still dark. But, I can feel the happiness. It's real.

I lie perfectly still for a while. The absolute silence is calming.

A sharp prickle starts in my fingertips and pulses with each heartbeat. I opened and close my hand a few times, then rub the smooth, soft blanket beneath me. I can't feel anything. My hands are numb. I slowly lick my lips. Or do I? I can't tell.

I use everything I have left to reach my hand up and feel my neck. I forgot his amulet. I want it around my neck. He let me hold on to it. And now its gone.

Shit. I don't feel good. I have no sense of time. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to pry my eyelids open. They form slits, but refuse to stay that way. I give in and just close them. I fish for my backpack,pulling it to my side. It's still unzipped. I fumble around. Where is it? How could I have forgotten to take out Dean's amulet. Stupid. I can't find it. My stomach really hurts. I can't puke. I lie back down, eyes failing me.

Suddenly, the hotel door burst open.

"Happy Birthday Sa-"

Dean? Can't be. He's with Bobby. I just talked to him.

"SAMMY!"

I love my brother.

I try to remember his smell. I can't do it. My eyes won't open. I love my brother. I love you, Dean.

My brother smells like lea...

A/N Please review


	2. Chapter 2

Hello readers :) I hope you like this chapter. I know its short but I do plan on continuing this so I wanted to give you guys a little update while im working on the rest :) enjoy!

"Sammy!" Dean screamed. His vision immediately went blurry. It was as though he was walking into a nightmare. Sam, his baby brother, was sprawled out on the bed, pale, eyes shut, body convulsing, fading. And next to him lay an orange, empty container and a bottle of water. Dean wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. Everything after that happened within a split second.

"Sam? Sammy?" Dean begged, running over to his brother and lifting him up in his arms. "No no no no no..You can't do this to me."

He pushed away Sam's bangs from his sweaty forehead and leaned his own against it. "Wake up, Sammy. Open your eyes for me. You can't do this!"

_The bottle is empty. How many did he take? God. This isn't happening. _

Pulling himself away from his thoughts, Dean sprung into action. He half-carried, half-dragged Sam to the grimy bathroom. Laying Sam against the tub he turned on the shower. Stepping into it he pulled Sam in front of him to lean Sam's back against his chest.

"Stay with me, Sam," Dean begged. Prying open Sam's mouth, he shoved his middle and ring finger as far as he could down Sam's throat. "Come on, Sammy."

Dean let out a breath that he did not know he had been holding when suddenly Sam lurched forward and gagged on Dean's fingers. Dean removed his fingers as Sam threw up the contents of his stomach. Most of it landed on Dean's leg, but he could care less in that moment.

"It's ok, Sammy. I've gotcha."

"Dean?" Sam asked, looking up through the streams of water hitting his face to see a concerned and almost heartbreaking expression on Dean's face.

"I'm here, Sammy," Dean stated with a small smile, and pulled Sam closer to him. "Don't ever do that me again."

A/N Review please


	3. Chapter 3

Hello readers! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I know it's another short one, but i will have the next one up soon. Enjoy!

"Sammy, you with me?" Dean asked, shutting off the shower and pulling Sam's head back to lay on his chest. He notices that Sam's eyes are dazed and his pupils are enlarged. He pushes Sam's damp bangs out of his eyes, "Sammy?"

"Please, Dean," Sam begged, turning his head and sobbing into his shoulder. "Make it stop...please...I just want it to go away...I just want it all to stop...so tired, so tired of it all."

Tears filled up in Dean's eyes as he hugs his brother, still stunned by what he just happened.

"It's going to be okay, Sammy," he whispered, and wished he could believe it. "It's going to be okay."

He continues to rock Sam back and forth and closes his eyes as he tries to figure out why Sam would want to kill himself.

"Dean..My stomach hurts.."

Dean sighs, "Hospital. Now, Sam."

Terror forms in Sam's eyes, "No, Dean. Please, no hospital."

"Sammy..They might need to pump your stomach."

"No, Dean. Please," Sam moans.

Sighing, Dean gives in to Sam's puppy dog eyes. This is all fucked up. Sam. His baby brother just tried to commit suicide. When did things get even more fucked up than they already were. How did Dean not notice that Sam had these intentions?

"Ok, Sam. But you need to throw up again. I want to make sure it's all out of your stomach," Dean states, knowing that a slight overdose can take a while to take effect even though he was almost sure all of it came out. He wasn't taking any chances.

With Dean's help, Sam slowly crawls out of the bathtub and positions himself in front of the toilet. The movement makes him dizzy and he grips the sides of the toilet to stay focused.

Sam looks up when he hears Dean stand up and sit on the edge of the bathtub.

"Uh Dean.."

Dean sends a questioning look towards Sam. "No way I'm leaving you alone, Sammy."

"Dean..I'll be fine."

"No."

"I'll let you search me for sharp objects," Sam snorts.

"Not funny, Sammy," Dean states, not ready to make light of this situation.

The small smile leaves Sam's face and is replaced with a frown.

"Fine. But I'll be right outside that door if you need me."

"Ok," Sam sighs, watching Dean stand up and walk towards the door. "Hey, Dean?"

"Yeah, Sammy?"

"Thank you."

_Thank you? Sammy is thanking me for saving his life after he tried to take it away. This is wrong. All kinds of wrong._

"Sure, Sammy. When your done, we talk," Dean states, exiting the bathroom with tears forming in his eyes.

A/N Please review! Next chapter will be up soon


	4. Chapter 4

Hello readers :D hope you enjoy this little chapter. It's filled with drama. Thank you so very much for all the reviews, follows and favorites :D Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing :(

Dean slowly shut the bathroom door behind him, giving Sam his privacy. He flinched at the sound of Sam gagging himself. Needing to get away from the heart wrenching sound without leaving entirely, Dean trudged to one of the beds and slumped down onto it. He stared at the wall in front of him. Eyes darting to his surroundings-the second bed, the tv, the poor excuse of a dinner table, his and Sam's duffel bags-anything to get his mind off of the recent events. Then his eyes fell downward. Right onto the empty orange bottle. Naked, without its lid and pills inside, it taunted Dean. Empty. And suddenly, the aching in Dean's chest when from bad to worse. Breathing became harder. His eyes filled up once again and tears poured out to join the dried ones on his cheeks. _What the fuck just happened? If I hadn't gotten here when I did Sam would be-_

A shrilling rock song broke through the silent air. Dean jumped at the suddenly added vibration in his jean's pocket. A phone call. Dean didn't have time for a phone call. What was he supposed to say to this person, whoever it was. 'Hi, my brother just tried to kill himself. Can I call you back?'. _My brother just tried to kill himself. God, those words should not even be in a sentence together. Ever_

Not caring whose name was appearing on the front screen, Dean opened the phone and put it against his ear. "Hello?" His voice was quiet, ragged and pain was ever so evident.

"Dean?! Is that you? Where are you? Did you get to Sam? I think somethings wrong!" Bobby's voice yelled into the phone.

"Yeah. I'm with him." Dean's voice came out with no emotion. He was hurt, broken and confused. That doesn't sit well with Dean Winchester.

"Is he ok? He called me."

"He did? What did he say?"

Bobby sighed, and Dean could practically picture the old hunter running his large hand over his face. "I could tell something was very wrong. His voice was slurred and he was rambling on. Sayin' things that didn't make sense. He kept repeating that 'this will be better' and to tell you that he loved you and thank you for always taking care-"

"He tried to kill himself." Dean cut off the old hunter. No longer able to stand to listen to Sam's attempt at "last words". "He tried to-" Dean started to repeat himself, but it came out as a sob in the end.

"Jesus."

All Dean could do was cry.

"I'm on my way Dean. I left the house right after talking to Sam. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Ok." It was all Dean could muster up the energy to choke out.

Wiping his sleeve over his face, Dean cleared his throat. "I have to go check on Sammy."

"Ok , son. Hey, Dean, I hate asking you this, but what..How did, Sam..-"

"He downed a bottle of pills." Dean hated being so blunt, but no forced words were going to make this situation any better.

"What?! Dean! Are you taking him to-"

"Relax, Bobby. I made him throw up." Dean couldn't help cutting Bobby off. As much as he loved Bobby like a father, he had a brother to take care of.

"That doesn't matter, boy! He can't get it all out of his system like that! You need to take him to a hospital! Get his damn stomach pumped! He could have a-"

A loud crash made Dean jump up and throw the phone down. Dean ran toward the bathroom door and banged on it. "Sammy, you ok in there?"

No answer.

Dean didn't wait a second longer before he burst through the door. The sight that met his eyes is one he would like to wipe from his memory forever. Sam was on the floor, body convulsing, and his head banging against the tile floor.

A/N Please review..It makes my day :D


	5. Chapter 5

Hello amazing readers :D Thank you so much for all the reviews, follows and favorites last chapter. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Dean's head slowly tilted up and saw Bobby standing in the doorway. He had not even heard the motel door open.

"Bobby?"

Dean is sitting on the floor cradling his brother's limp body. The look on Dean's face reminds him of when he was a child. He looks terrified.

"Dean." Bobby runs over to the older Winchester and drops beside him. He runs a hand over Sam's forehead. He presses his other hand to Sam's neck searching for a pulse. "Dean. We need to get him to a hospital now." Sam's pulse is weak and fading.

Bobby gently puts his hands underneath Sam to lift him up. "Dean – a little help here?"

"What?" Dean shakes himself and blinks his eyes a few times to see through fresh tears and looks down. "Oh, yeah. Sorry, Bobby."

They settle Sam between them and make towards the door. Sam's head hanging low and his feet dragging behind him. Dean quickly grabs the Impala's keys off the dinky table next to the motel door and tosses them to Bobby.

"You drive."

Bobby caught them easily. Years, honed responses and natural ability wouldn't allow dropping anything thrown to him - despite the shock he felt in that moment.

Quickly, they drag Sam to the car and Dean throws open the door. Dean gets in first and Bobby gently lowers Sam in so that his back is laying against Dean's chest.

Bobby jumps into the front seat and starts the car, throwing it into drive he sets off towards the hospital.

"Bobby, we need to be there yesterday!" Dean growled. Looking down, he ran his left hand through his brother's shaggy, long hair.

"Sammy, can you hear me? Hang on okay? Just hang on man." Tear's glittered in Dean's eyes as he met Bobby's in the rearview mirror. Bobby was on his cell, talking to the hospital, telling them to be ready. Shutting the phone he spoke to Dean. "They'll waiting for us, kiddo."

"What did you say?" Dean asks.

"I told them it was an accidental overdose."

Dean sighs and runs a hand over his face and then leans his head down closer to Sam's, listening to his shallow breath. "Your going to be ok, Sammy."

Arriving at the hospital, Bobby brings the Impala to a hard stop in front of the emergency doors. Two orderlies run through, pushing a gurney beside them.

With help from Dean, they lifted and eased Sam quickly onto a gurney, and Sam was whisked into the building with Dean right beside them.

"How many pills did he take, sir?"

"I don't know! I found him like this. Here-" Dean shoves the empty pill bottle from his pocket and into the man's hand. "It was an accident."

"How do you know that this was not a su-"

"Because Sam would never do that!" Dean yells, getting in the man's face.

"Dean-" Bobby moves forward and puts his hand on Dean's shoulder.

"It was an accident," Dean states, running a shaking hand through his damp hair.

"Alright, sir. What's his name?"

Looking up Dean sees they have placed an oxygen mask over his brothers face and barely noticed they are now inside the hospital, and are beginning to push the gurney through one of the hallways doors.

"Sam Win-. His name is Sam Winsted. He's my brother. I need to be there with him." Dean started trying to bully his way through the doors.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but you will only get in the way. Let us do our job."

Bobby was beside him an instant later, taking hold of Dean's shoulder. "Boy, let the people do their work. He's right, you'll only get in the way. Come on, we need to get you into some dry clothes. Then look for some coffee." Bobby's eyes met the orderlies and nodded slightly. The orderly took his cue and pushed on through the doors, disappearing.

After filling paperwork out for "Sam Winsted", and Dean changing into dry scrubs that the hospital generously provided for him, Dean and Bobby were in the waiting room, drinking coffee, Dean pacing hole in the carpet.

"Dean. Maybe you should sit," Bobby suggests.

Dean looks up at Bobby with tired eyes and then shakes his head. "I need some air."

Walking out of the hospitals emergency doors, Dean pulls his phone from his pocket and dials his father's number.

"You have reached John Winchester, if you need help call my son, Dean. His number…"

"Dammit, Dad! Why can't you just answer for once!" He swore under his breath, throwing his back against the wall.

Off in the distance Dean hears a siren. Looking up he sees an ambulance racing towards the hospital's emergency. The car and sirens come to a stop. Dean sinks back more towards the wall and watches as the ambulance's back doors burst open. A gurney is pulled out. There is a fairly large man lying on it with an oxygen mask over his face and tubes coming from every direction.

"What do we got?" One nurse asks.

"Male, middle age, multiple stab wounds. Somebody tore this guy up." The other nurse answers.

As one of the nurses shifts over to transport the gurney into the hospital Dean catches a glimpse of the man's face.

"Dad?!"

A/N Please review!


	6. Chapter 6

Hello Readers :D Sorry this took me awhile to post. I can't thank you enough for all the reviews, follows and favorites last chapter! You guys are seriously amazing! I hope you like this chapter :) Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing :(

Dean stares in shock at the gurney. Dad. What the hell happened? Why was he stabbed? Before he knows it, he is running over to the crowd of nurses surrounding his dad.

"What the hell happened!?" Dean yelled, pushing the nurses aside to get to his father.

"Sir, you need to step back," one of the male nurses responded, putting his hands up to block Dean.

Dean looks down at his father and takes in the fact that his face is beat to hell and a nurse is holding a blood soaked gauze pad over a wound. "No!" Dean yelled, shoving the nurse out of the way once more. "That's my dad!"

The male nurse steps back as if in shock. "Your brother was just admitted, wasn't he?" And Dean finally looks up at the nurses. He realizes that this is the same nurse that had questioned him about Sammy. "Sam Win..Wins..?"

"Sam Winsted, yes! This is our dad!" Dean shouted in the poor man's face. "Now tell me what happened!"

"Sir, I'm sorry, I don't have any other information other than that he was stabbed."

"Stabbed? By who?" Dean pleaded, taking notice that they were now in the hallway. The same one they took Sam through. And Dean was hit by a horrible feeling of déjà vu.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but you really need to step back. Your not allowed back here," the nurse states, ignoring the question.

And soon Dean realizes he is being held back by two large male nurses, watching his father disappear through the emergency doors.

* * *

Everything is in a haze around Dean as he walks to the waiting room. He is not able to focus on anything other than the horrible nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach. He slowly walks over to the chair next to Bobby and slides down into it.

"Dad's here," Dean states, bluntly, eyes staring of ahead. Not able to focus on anything.

Bobby snorts as Dean's voice jolts him from a small slumber.

"Really? Where is he? Tell him to get his ass in here," Bobby says, with a smirk on his face, he wipes away the sleepiness in his eyes. It has been a while since he saw John and even though it's under bad circumstances, it will be good to him again.

"I can't," Dean breathes out. "He's in the ER."

"With Sam? Did ya hear any more news?" Bobby questions, oblivious to the severity of this.

"Dad was admitted." Tears are filling his eyes and his stomach is in a knot. It feels as though in seconds he will need to empty what little is left in his stomach.

"What? Why? What happened, Dean? Talk to me, boy."

"I don't know. I was standing outside and an ambulance pulled dad out on a gurney. There was blood everywhere, Bobby. They said he was..he was stabbed," Dean stutters, having a hard time getting the words out.

"Shit.

"Dammit, Bobby. My whole family is falling apart," Dean cries, finally lifting his head and looking at the older hunter. "What the hell is going on? Why was dad even in this town?"

"Your dad will be fine, Dean. He always is. He has gotten through much worse, boy. And Sam..We will take care of Sam. We'll figure it out, Dean."

"I know. I just don't get it. Why do we have the worst luck?"

"Your Winchesters, boy," Bobby laughs, trying to lighten the mood.

Dean rubs a shaking hand over his face.

"Family of Sam Winsted?" A voice calls out and Dean looks up to see a doctor standing in the ER doorway with a serious look on his face.

A/N Everything will be explained very soon :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please let me know what you thought!


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